The Little Things We Shared

Christian and I loved spending time together. We didn’t have to be doing anything, and we would have the time of our lives. One thing we did like doing together, because we both shared a love for animals, is watching animal shows….documentaries like on PBS or Animal Planet or wherever. So yesterday, all of a sudden, my emotions and tears just poured out of me….there was no trigger, like usual….it just started…. and I just felt so alone in my pain. I have a wonderful husband, family and friends who try so hard to be there for me, and they are, but this pain is mine alone, and I just have to share it with God, who I know understands more than anyone ever could, even those who have lost a child. I miss my boy, and I walk through my house and see his program from his Celebration of Life everyday and see that dash with the date on the other side, when it shouldn’t be there yet, but it is. Those two dates: Birth and Death and that little space in between, even those who live to be in their 80’s and 90’s, that space in between is gone in a moment (poof!). I’m off this week, so I am home thinking, and not home enjoying myself, because I hurt my back this week, so I’m not doing much, but trying to re-cooperate, so I can go back to work on Monday…So like I said, I miss Christian every minute of every day, of course I do, but some moments are so much harder to get through than others, so I ask God to help me make it from one minute to the next and He does, for here I am typing, because writing is my sanctuary. So last night, I’m flipping through the millions of channels with nothing peaking my interest, and then I get to PBS, and I see an animal show on: Earth’s Amazing Miniature Miracles…. something similar to that title….it was all about tiny little creatures and plants that I had never heard about before. Christian and I would watch these types of shows for hours and just be in awe of the amazing creatures and flora that God created. We would discuss what we liked about them and laugh at some of their quirky characteristics and sometimes even look them up on the computer or youtube to try and get more information on them. Christian would tell me that I should show my kids in my class, and sometimes I did. So I’m watching this show and thinking how much Christian would have enjoyed this episode and feeling happy that I was watching something that we so much enjoyed doing together, but also wishing he was right there in the room beside me too. One part of the show was talking about this special type of plant that lives in the African desert that looks dead and can stay looking dead for decades…. but then all of a sudden it somehow rolls around pushed by the wind and finds a little puddle of water, and this plant that looks way beyond help, starts growing and then produces seeds…and if a huge rainstorm comes, the seeds start germinating in only a week and the plant continues to thrive. Guess what the name of the plant was? It was called the Resurrection Plant.….. how appropriate!!! I thought about Christian, and how he will be resurrected again with a new body. God let me see this show, and it gave me peace and more hope. You see, I do a lot of reading about Heaven, because that is where my boy is, and that is where my mom is and my dad and my brother are… and many of my other loved ones too. That’s where I am going to be and my other family members that are believers. I will see Christian again!! It’s a promise from God!! We will both be resurrected, like the plant, unless the Lord takes us believers, who are living, early. I had never heard of a Resurrection Plant, but the Lord had. He created it, like all the amazing things that we have here to remind us that there is a Creator. God gave us all these amazing things on this earth to help us learn who He is, and with that help, comes many promises as well. The one that came to me today, before I started writing, was the one when Jesus was talking to Martha after her brother Lazarus had died. He told her, ” I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. (John 11:25,26) There you have it. Christian will live again, because he believed when he was a little boy, and since I live, and I believe as well, I will never die….I will just go to my next destination: “Heaven”, whenever that day will come. Then I will be with Christian forever and ever!! Another promise that I hold on to: “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever!” (Revelation 21:4) Amen!! So until that day, I know God keeps track of all my sorrows and has collected each and every tear of mine in a bottle and has recorded each one in His book. (Psalm 56:8) He cares about me and all my moments, good and bad, and promises to use them all for good, because I love Him and He will come get me someday to live with Him forever and ever! So if you are reading this and are missing a loved one, especially a child, know that God cares about your pain, just like He cares about mine. He will make all things new if you believe that He can…. and if I can believe, you CAN too! ” And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with Me, so that you will always be with Me where I am! (John 14:3) God Bless!